"Where would we be without comedy?" That is a question a teacher once posed to our class in the midst of a lecture interruption which, at the time seemed so relevant that the joke couldn't wait. I've since found it to be a rather interesting question worthy of silent cognition. Some two years later I think that there might be an answer inside of me to it that isn't completely smart assed.
George Carlin was a man who shaped the modern form of American comedy who died last week. He was well known by the time I was introduced to him via a friend with an 8 or 9 hour VCR tape. Many a weekend slumber party during high school we fell asleep to his vastly adult comedic style. In those days his vocabulary seemed impressive and his expletives not gratuitous, rather they were deliberate and poetic, not absurd without any point. Certainly he was unlike anyone else I knew.
I didn't know him personally. He was an entertainer when my eyes were glued to the guy with attitude for miles. Once I did see his live show in Idaho Falls, probably year 2004. What he said that night, the impersonal way he delivered his messy ideas by pulling out a piece of notepaper to test the worst material I have ever listened to makes it an ironic ease to say "thank you" and "goodbye". Here's what my fifty dollar ticket paid for: half of his act onstage that night was about necrophilia. It was bad. Shit. Now he's dead. Now it makes what he said a teensy weensy bit sick/funny. Did he have such a hold on his own mortality that he said those things for a purpose beyond getting laugh after laugh at that very show? If any of you go to hell, let me know.
Overall I join the world in saying goodbye to a man who made think to his comedy. The following ten quotes from Carlin have been yanked from the number one cousin who has his own gift of astounding perception, thanks B.
Ten From George Carlin
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said, if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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